Sunday, March 05, 2006

A Quartet of Triple Plays

Well, that was sort of a surprise. And sort of not. But they really spread the wealth: "Crash," "Brokeback Mountain," "King Kong," and "Memoirs of a Geisha" won 3 Oscars each. Compared to the sweeps of the past few years, this was sort of surprise.

I was jotting thoughts down as the evening S L O W L Y progressed... (And my Tivo was stuttering?! Is it dyeing?!)

The Red Carpet:
Matt Dillon looks GREAT! Mizrahi's interview was sort of a hoot!
Gary Busey looks terrible.
The "March of the Penguins" guys were a hoot with their stuffed penguins! Hee hee
Clooney looks FABULOUS of course.
Naomi Watts is in a weird dress. Givenchy? Hmmm.
Dolly Parton has a FAB dress, but MY GOD she's got HUGE BREASTS now! And she looks Asian. Stop the face lifts now!!
Kiera Knightly? what is up with the HEAVY makeup and that HEAVY necklace?!
Roger Ebert is being senile in his interviews. He didn't even know who the producer of "Good Night, and Good Luck" was as he interviewed him.
Steve Carell looks great and not at all bitter, considering he could have been nominated for "40 Year Old Virgin."
Michelle Williams is in a huge YELLOW dress.
Jada Pinket Smith looks gorgeous! She and Will are great together.
Felicity Huffman probably should NOT be showing that much cleavage. Her ABC red carpet interview was sort of touching.
Philip Seymour Hoffman CLEANED himself up! He has gained a few pounds, huh?
David Straithairn has lost a few pounds! Very quiet red carpet interview.
Jake Gyllenhall is hot. He's HOT! DULL interview, but hot.
Rachel Weisz has stunning makeup. Ok dress for a maternity gown.

The Ceremony:
The opening monologue. Eh.
I love George Clooney. Love him. Loved his speech.
Underscoring the speeches??? What's up with that??
Too much talking by presenters.
What's 'up' in Ben Stiller's crotch? (Ha! Jon Stewart noticed that too!)
Is Reese Witherspoon wearing a tacky wedding dress?
I LOVED Wallace and Gromit, but their acceptance speech was cute. I hate cute.
The biography flick montage was sort of a waste of time? This was when I KNEW this was going to run LONNNNNNNGGGGGGG!
Asshole makeup guy took up ALL of their time. Poor makeup woman.
Rachel Weisz is sort of taking the moment too seriously.
Lauren Bacall canĂ‚’t see her teleprompter apparently. What is up with all these montges?? The film noir was noticeably odd.
I liked the actress campaigning spoof.
J-Lo was WORKING that dress! It's lovely, but she certainly WORKED it!
I don't remember this song from "Crash" at all. Lovely song, though. Silly dancing and the back lighting of the burning car is putting her in a terrible light.
Jon Stewart just seems a bit out of his element.
WHAT did Sandra Bullock do to her hair?!
Not another montage?! (politics, racism, etc.)
And ANOTHER montage?!!! (widescreen spectacles to make us want to go out more? It looked great on my projector screen though, so it didn't work! ha!)
Tomlin and Streep are brilliant. I think they should host!! But what's on Streep's back?
And ANOTHER montage, but for Altman, which at least it has a purpose! He gave a nice speech, too.
Ok. I admit it. I LIKE the Pimp song! I LOVED Hustle and Flow!
Is Jennifer Garner pregnant?
ANOTHER montage!! In memorium
But NO montage for Foreign Language Film??!
Actor?! Already??!! All five of them really are incredible.
Cinematography. Cutie. Dull, but cute.
Actress already?!?!! Reese. Well, ok. She's babbling on and on and on. Nearly a Sally Field moment.
Dustin Hoffman is sort of crazy. Likeable, but crazy.
They cut off the Screenplay acceptance speech?!?
They cut off the BEST PICTURE speech?!? I mean, the thing was over 30 minutes late already, so why not have ANOTHER montage, instead?!


Mark said...

It was a bit shocking they cut short the best picture speech.

Yay Reese!

JimmyD said...

I liked Stewart, from what I could hear. Greesy Reesie? Sure, why not. Better for this than for 'Legally Blond 3-D' next year. She may be a cunt but she is good.
Best Speech: The Pimp Song. LOATHE rap but LOVED this performance and acceptance. All in all... it was ok.

Gretchen said...

Agree pretty much with your comments – especially Tomlin and Streep. I think that was an antenna. Not a stellar show, need to get back any one of those other hosts.

Paul and Frank said...

You takes on things are quite similar to my own, fun to read!! We had a good time with it, and thought it was at least something different for a change. The set was really 'fab' not just piles of gold dildo shaped men statues.
My favorite thing is still Jake G. (yes poor interview)
maybe next year we can do the award together if you are out this way, I could not get 'the boys' to get together with us.. they watched from bed....yawwwwn.

Gigi said...

LOVE your Oscar blog (funny funny funny)! Same thoughts were running through my head. Did you know that Anne Hathaway is the daughter of one of our New York attorneys, Jerry Hathaway? Just a bit of trivia! I hope all is well. Come in & see us soon!

Anonymous said...

agreed. Huffman's dress was a big mistake. No one signed up to see the Grand
Canyon, you know? J Lopez--- yes, she is a bit full of herself, but the dress
was beautiful. We liked Ang Lee. Did not like M Williams dress---to big- she
looked overwhelmed. D Parton (and I like her)- looked scary.